Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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