I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think people are normalizing furries
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
