Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize