sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Enjoy the penises
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize