You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
