And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
