That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
