If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
