He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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