I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize