She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
