dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
