apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
