the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
