Porn is love you can see.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
