Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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