He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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