god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
