I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
