my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize