She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
