I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
