i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He better not be in your backpack
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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