He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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