and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
