You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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