I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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