That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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