before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
