I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
