He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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