just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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