i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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