508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
