My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
