Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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