pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
