they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
