Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize