i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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