We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
