Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
