Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Please don't give away my fajitas
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
