They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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