Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
