Yo dont text me then not text me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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