i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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