This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I came so hard my ears popped.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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