He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
