i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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