I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
