u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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