No stitches, just platelets and will power
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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