Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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