Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
