I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
