i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
