Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
