the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
