did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
