You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
