There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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