He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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